Look at the Hollywood on that Guy

I love when Halloween turns into a festival. One year (probably more then once come to think of it) Halloween was on a Monday, and I was in college at the time, so we started partying on Thursday and continued to Monday. I think we all developed scurvy, anemia, and respiratory infections in the days that followed.

So I've got a party tomorrow and then Saturday is real Halloween. In order to convince one melancholy friend to come to tomorrow's party I had to promise to get all rockabilly fabulous with her. Sooo not a problem. Rockabilly has got to be my favorite genre look, followed by a tie between 1940s glam and 1980s hip-hop. Rockabilly is pretty easy to pull off though once you've got the shoes and a push up bra. The hair can be tricky, but when all else fails a ponytail is a-ok.

My problem now is that I actually have too many outfits to choose from. I think I am going to try for a Traci Lords in Cry-Baby look, but I really want to wear this adorable sailor dress that finally fits me again since I bought it four years ago (I don't even think it fit me then, it was one of those "this is so cute and I should have lost the weight by spring anyway" buys). Then there's the whole polka dots or pin-up girl look as well. What a complicated life I lead...

Speaking of complications, the host of this party is The Boy (who really is no longer The Boy... I think I have the romantic attention span of Paris Hilton), and it is in the neighborhood of The Buddy and The Hot, who I've been hanging out with a lot recently so it would be kinda grimy not to invite them.

Whatever, I'm tired of boy bullshit problems. I've still got the nursing boards to pass and an apartment to finish decorating. Not to mention resume writing, gathering recommendations, practicing for interveiws, getting a suit type thing for said interviews, and maybe get in shape. No time for a junior high state of mind.

<-- Hot.

About those 5 guys

I am fully aware that this is an open blog on the web and therefore anybody and their mother (or even my own mother) can see it. That being said, I am going to continue to write about all of my shenanigans and debauchery in a cryptic way so that just in case someone I know in real life happens to stumble across this thing and realize that it is me who is writing it can't figure out exactly what I am talking about. Wow, that was a really long sentence.
So the 5 guys. For privacy's sake and for a bit of a background story's sake I will give them the following names: The Date, The Boy (mentioned in previous posts), The Buddy (short for Former Fuck Buddy, but things never got weird between us so we really are still buddies), The Hot (short for Hot Hot Hot guy who I was never really good friends with but rest of my friends were with out me realizing it, and also short for Hot Hot Hot guy who I had a class with once), and lastly, The Claudia Schiffer (this guy is really good looking and really cool (but still nerdy and a bit awkward) and has a really, really well sculpted physique. Like, seriously. I have no idea how we have so much of a sexual history. I'm pretty, but not in a conventional way, and I have a terrible body and bad teeth).


Actually, I'm tired. And I don't really feel the need to put this story on here any way. Basically, I was very overwhelmed and confused that 5 different boys who I already know (except the actual Date) would hit on me all in the same evening. I felt like a cat in heat or something. Looking at the calendar and counting backwards (sorry if this falls into the Too Much Information category) I figured out that I was probably ovulating that day, so I probably really was a cat in heat.

Once again, the mysteries of the universe and the complexities of the human psyche are all based on fucking chemicals messing with us.

Oh, and the rainbow storm trooper is just to accentuate my confusion about boys and dating.

Jew on a Man?

So here is a message exchange with an old and newly re-discovered friend of mine on facebook. Since it is composed mainly of me ranting I figured it would be appropriate here:

October 16 at 11:07pm

... I saw you mentioned something about what your name means in Hebrew - are you Jewish? I am. figured we could bond about something lol.

October 18 at 7:01am
Yes indeedee, I am Jewish. I had no idea that you were too! I kind of remember you wearing an israeli looking yarmulke in school once, but I thought that was your way of getting away with wearing hats in class. Heehee.
I like to think of myself more as culturally/ethnically Jewish rather then religiously Jewish. I definitely don't believe in any of it, and I actually feel wrong saying the prayers etc. at holidays since I don't. I'll only do it if it's rude not to (like at someone else's house or something). Now that I live in Brooklyn I am surrounded by Super Jews and actually have a whole new bunch of orthodox friends. I love questioning all of their totally over the top practices, but I think they get a kick out of how detached I am from the whole thing. Also, discussing the core philosophy of it all is always fun. My dad and I tend to do that a lot.
Did you have a Bar Mitzvah?

October 18 at 7:21am

hahaha super Jews, I like that :) I actually am a practising Reform Jew but I do definitely see the extreme need to question and explore the factual basis of all religious claims. I too sometimes feel a bit disingenuous for reciting prayers; really the only ritual I steadfastly adhere to are the Sabbath rituals, but mostly because it was constantly what my parents did in our home. and yes, I was Bar Mitzvah'd :) My father is an orthodox Jew and my brother is an atheist. Go figure :) You, my darling, are fascinating to talk to :)
And I'm from ... - they say the Jews run Hollywood but that's nonsense - clearly we run Brooklyn :)

October 18 at 4:44pm

... They say there are more Jews in Brooklyn then there are in Israel. Speaking of Israel, have you ever been?
Sabbath rules are the best. I mean, how can you really argue against being forced to relax and hang out with your family and eat a lot once a week? Do you do the whole no electricity and no driving thing too? I have issues with people who set timers on their lights and ovens etc to get around these rules. To me it seems like that goes against some of the point of it all. So does covering your hair when you get married but wearing a wig that is probably nicer then your real hair. Too many contradictions.
I once tried to put a name to my religious beliefs, and since I like to think of myself as an amalgam (one of my favorite words) of Jewish, Hindu, agnostic,and Humanist, the best i came up with are:
Hindjewsticist
Jewdusticist
Hindmanostish
Hujewdunotishist. <--That might be my favorite.

October 18 at 5:00pm

hahaha I love the interpolation of words, that's awesome! ... And I've never been to Israel, but I would love to go. I'm a firm believer in a Jewish state, but I do not believe in killing Palestinians to accomplish this. I believe Israel gas to begin to admit its culpability in the Mid-East crises.
No, on the Sabbath I don't observe the Rabbinic or Talmudic rules regarding no electricity. I think that if man's thinking has evolved and man is made in Gods image, its foolish to believe God hasn't evolved as well, and this realizes that such antiquated practices are impractical for modernity. I do believe in God and my Judaism, but this is 2009 and I don't think my beliefs can't be in line with the times in which I live, you know?

October 22 at 6:56am

Hm. I am quite against the idea of a Jewish state (although to be fair I don't know exactly EXACTLY what that really means). It just seems to me like the more I learn about Jewish stuff the more it seems like most of the rules and practices are there just to keep the "chosen" separate from the goys. It just all seems like some super exclusive club. Like, why am I considered to be a full on a-ok Jewess, even though I don't practice or even believe in any of the stuff; but somebody who totally 100% believes in their heart of hearts in the one god and blah blah and does all of that kosher goodness or whathaveyou, but doesn't happen to come from a Jewish family (or even just doesn't have a Jewish mom), is just another gentile? It just all reminds me of the caste system in India. Oh and that group of people in Ethiopia who were converted back in the day by some crazy rabbi and he didn't do it special enough or something so now these people who have been practicing Judaism for generations can't be refugees in Israel (or something. Obviously I don't really know a whole lot about the subject)? That is just fucked up.
I mean, if god is one, then how can anything NOT be chosen? Saying that god is one indicates that all people everywhere, hell all things everywhere, are infused and chock full of god's goodness. Therefore I think that I am no more chosen then the next guy or the next banana or the next toaster.
Mm toast. Breakfast time!

5 guys

So this post is really about how I managed to have romantic/somewhat romantic encounters with five different guys tonight, but in thinking of a title I was pleasantly reminded of Five Guys Burgers and Fries and my irritation/angst/confusion/flattery has totally been replaced with a serious burger craving. Why does it have to be so early?
Ranting about boys will have to come later. I need to sleep now.

Aw man, just look at that burger. ----->
Fucking delicious.

Hidrosis

In a previous post I had mentioned how much I hate sweating. Well, I just found out about how one can get botox injections so that you don't sweat in that area anymore! How cool is that? I wonder though, if you stop sweating in one area do you start sweating more in other areas? If not, wouldn't you over heat or something?
Well, yes.
In my opinion, if I am sort of willing to wear heeled shoes and binding undergarments to look hot, then I am totally willing to risk overheating in order to stop sweating, especially on my face.

Halloween costume ideas

Sookie Stackhouse or Zombie nurse?
Or a zombie who just happens to be a nurse/nurse who just happens to be a zombie?

This video by the way is one of the cooler things I've discovered this year. To be fair though, I have not heard the new Raekwon album yet.


My original idea was to be Nike of Samothrace, but that turned out to be more complicated then I had time for. Maybe next year.

Speaking of Sookie, those books have got to get a bit more upbeat. There is enough real life sadness, I don't need my ridiculous escape methods to be sad as well.
Speaking of escape methods, I have been decorating a lot. One thing I have been doing is puting grains and beans and nuts etc. into glass jars. They really do look nice on a shelf. Anywho, I think I have become a tad obsessed. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and bought beans solely based on what colors they were. I already buy seltzer an juice based on if it comes in a glass bottle or not (and a glass bottle with a wide mouth gets super bonus points and a triple word score). I really wish they sold glass 2 liter bottles of diet coke, there is only so much Jameson I can drink at a time. Wine bottles would suffice, but few kinds come in re-closable bottles, and corks bug me lately. I need to start eating more apple sauce. Oo, or pasta with tomato sauce. See? Now I'm altering my diet just so that I can have more glass jars. Crazy crazy crazy...like I've said before, I put the "crazy" in "crazy bitch".