There is Always Room for Improvement.

This year I am going to do the traditional New Years resolutions. Lose 20 lbs and quit smoking. Oh yeah, and get employed. BLAU!

Oo, and get good at free-style rhyming. I will become the next hip-hop sensation.

an honest thought

Dear Amelia:
Sometimes it is just plain too painful to think about you. Is that ok? You probably know already that I think about you nearly all of the time, but sometimes I look at a picture or a hear a statement or anecdote or something about you, and I just have to walk away because it is neither the time nor the place nor the company to think slash talk about you. I love you in every way possible, but it seriously hurts. While your life may not go on, you know that your memory certainly does, and our (your close friends' and families') lives do. Therefore, sometimes we need to just avoid thinking about or being reminded of you. We will never, ever, forget you. But we all deserve at least a second or two of normalcy to balance out the gut wrenching pain we have all felt since you left this world. Oh great, now this sounds accusatory. Sigh, I just want you to know that we miss you, but we also need to live our own lives, because we know that to not do so would cause even more pain to everyone else. and unless everyone is just a total asshole, we ALL now know what an impact loved ones make upon us.
I miss you more then I ever thought possible.
love, or any other closing that could possibly be close to appropriate,
annie

I passed!

I am now an R.N.
Ha!

WOAH!

http://www.australiancoastalwatch.com.au/index.php/news/bnshark14432tx.article.html

hearts.

Why yes, I am really an 8 year old boy.

My dinner tonight was comprised of Doritos, a stale cupcake, and a tiny can of mandarin oranges. Carbalicious.

More cherries.

And then Miranda goes out with a detective?!?!
W
T
F
!
?
!
?
!
?

The cherry.

And to top off my wonderful (aka god fucking awful) Sex and the City horoscope life? I am now in the middle of watching the episode where Miranda thinks she is stood up for a date when really her date died. Both times of getting stood up by this guy I thought/kinda wished something bad had happened to him to make him not call me. Thinking something bad had happened would mean I hadn't been stood up, but thinking that is like when I did some time in the ER during nursing school. When it was slow we would get bored and wish for something to happen, but then we would realize that we were wishing for someone to be so injured or sick that they had to come to the emergency room. It takes a toll on your concionce. <--The Jimminy Cricket thing, it won't come up in spell-check.

S.A.D.? Not this year!

Seriously, I have cured myself. I see less sunlight now then any other winter ever (due to my nocturnalism) and I am not depressed. My secret? Vitamin D! No really, I started taking vitamin D supplements a couple months ago and boom, no unwarranted depression.
So this year, instead of the usual depression caused by my self diagnosed seasonal affect disorder, I will have some depression caused by life just plain sucking.
Because, my life just plain sucks right now.
-I can't manage to work up enough motivation to study for the test that determines the rest of my professional life. 9 days left to study.
-I live with an immature harpy who can only talk about herself, even while asking about me (the only time she has asked about me in the entire year we have been living together).
-I have no boyfriend and my list of sexual partners has now exceeded my age.
-My hair is just plain weird.
-I feel old.
-I can't quit smoking.
-I finally lose a whole bunch of weight and start to feel slightly comfortable in my own body and my older and always thinner (not just thinnER but actually thin) sister has to go and lose some weight too. Now she's not just thin but she's skinny. I go from a size 18 (and I mean old navy 18 which is like a size 20 in normal stores) to a 12 (normal store 12) and she has to go to a fucking size 2. I think she was a 6 before? Who cares, point is, it was finally my turn to shine and she ruined it. She has always been the smarter skinnyer prettier less awkward more badass one. She did better on her SATs, she graduated college on time, she never had to pay for damages that her friends caused to our apartment building, she works for the fucking U.N. and I am trying to be a nurse. She doesn't have the life sucking chronic disease and her best friend never died in a bike accident. Which brings me to my next point,
My best friend is still dead. The one true best friend who I never drifted from and never had problems with. It's been over a year and I still cannot really accept that she is dead.

Life sucks and I am tired of it. Shit man, I haven't even reached the hard part of life when I have to worry about money and mortgages and children and what not. My life sucks when everything is done for me.
Whine whine blah blah put it on a bumper sticker.

And I hate hate HATE HATE that all of this woe and self pity started all because some stupid boy stood me up. I hate being a cliche and I hate being predictable and I hate that I can somehow relate every episode of Sex and the City to my life at the moment. Sex and the City is like some ambiguous horoscope that always fits something going on. A guy doesn't want to have sex right away because "I don't want to mess this up" (his words) right before I see the episode where Aiden doesn't sleep with Carrie right away. Then I see the episodes where Carrie cheats on Aiden with Mr. Big right as I am starting to get the feeling that this boy keeps standing me up because he's actually married (doesn't help that my parents keep reminding me that "cops are notorious players."<--My mom's actual words. Since when do moms use the word "player"?).


BAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! I am so fucking frustrated!

Hands down, one of the worst weekends of all time.

Wednesday was fine. I went over to one of best friends new apartment. It is the nicest apartment of all time. A whole bunch of people were supposed to come but the all bailed. That wasn't a problem though, it gave me and this friend time to catch up on things which is always nice. We planned to have everyone get together on Saturday for an old school sleepover, complete with pajamas and games and what not. Seriously, soooo excited.
Thursday was fine. Thanksgiving was fine, I got to play with my cousins adorable children the whole time so it was pretty good actually. I saw another best friend that night and got high and giggled alot and talked very mushily about the new boy.
Then came Friday. I rushed home from my parent's house to get ready to go to a show with the new boy. I was actually ready on time and looked fan freaking tastic. The night before he had said we should meet up around 7, so when 8 rolls around and I have still heard nothing from him I text and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. It is now 6 pm two fucking days later. He has stood me up twice. I've only seen him twice. What the hell? I've never been stood up before. I mean now with cell phones that shit just doesn't happen. He better have a damn good reason this time. I bet he's married or something.
I went to bed around 2 or 3 very pissed off. Around 5 I woke up feeling like I had a low blood sugar or something. I tried to walk to the other side of my room to test my blood sugar and then get some juice, but I didn't make it. Everything went white and upside down. I managed to stumble back to my bed and find the emergency stash of sugar pills I keep by my alarm clock. I forced my self to eat a bunch and fell asleep again. I kept waking up throughout the day with a monster headache and white flashes. Around 3 or 4 in the afternoon I was able to get up and test my blood sugar which was high, and make it to the bathroom. I almost fainted again going there and coming back. I spent the rest of the night texting my friends that I wasn't going to make it to the slumber party that was my idea. One of our friends from out of town came, which was a huge surprise and would have been absolutely lovely and amazing except that I couldn't lift my head for longer then a minute.
Now it's Sunday. I haven't studied, I haven't seen anyone, and I have been stood up for the second time by the same guy. The same guy that I was super excited about. I even told my parents about him and talked mushily about him.
I am such an idiot.

Oh, and guess what song came on just as I published this post? Fuck and Run by Liz Phair. I think my life is being run by someone who writes for a teenage television drama.

2 hours and counting.

Wtf.

What she said.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/23/thinking-about-diabetes-with-every-bite/

Sharks just fucking terrify me.

I mean, they haven't evolved in a bazillion thrillion years. That means they are perfect. They ain't adapting for nobody. Well, except here.

These guys know what I mean:
http://fuckyeahsharks.tumblr.com/


I want these:




A previous entry about sharks.

Best. Date. Ever.

Finally, a nice cute boy with similar interests and a similar sense of humor. It's about fucking time.

This one came along after I get screwed over by a million guys in a row. One dumps me for being crazy, one gets bored and stopped calling, two were one night stands, one repeat booty call that just never got any good, three teases who just fucked with my head, two stalkers (kinda), and one who's southern charm made me think he actually liked me but just wanted some play. Right as I was about to get into a serious funk over all this boy crap, and right after I thought this new guy had stood me up one night, he goes and just blows me away with his awesomeness. He's just... he's kinda perfect for me.

He's got a great accent too. Heehee...




By the way, this is the guy I met on the train on Halloween. Again, who meets someone on the train? Who meets multiple someones on the train?

I'm down with the sauce. 'Cause my baby's got sauce.

I just heard a song where the guy says that his preacher stepfather misheard Biggie's line "Gucci down to the socks" as "coochie down to the socks."
I misheard/selectively heard that line as "being down with the sauce."

I've used this line in conversation even. Once I was having a discussion with my parents and sister about how my mother's favorite food is sauce, so at one point in the conversation I say:

"As the late, great Biggie Smalls
once said-- 'Sometimes you
just have to dip it in the sauce.'"

Oye. At least it was a good line.

Gloom...dispair....pity....blah blah blah.

I am really good at letting people take advantage of me.

Procrastination Nation

From Overheardinnewyork.com

Hep (If I Do Say So Myself).

These are the results of our rockabilly attempt. I need to work on the hair some more.
My friend here looked so incredibly gorgeous. She's a pretty girl to begin with, but she never wears make up or anything so it was a real treat to see her all done up and fancy.

The night turned out to be a bit of disaster though. My lusheriffic friends managed to trash the place we were at, possibly severing all ties I have with that friend. Whatever though, he's to uptight anyway.

Why I love Imdb.com

[Look at the blonde one].

Not so bad

Halloween turned out to be pretty odd actually. I went to a party with some friends. Half of those friends cut out early from being super tired and the other half got shit faced and left with out saying bye. So... this left me alone at a party where I really did not know anybody. I haven't been in a situation like that in a while. Luckily I had been chatting with some randoms earlier in the evening so I was able to pick things up and not be totally and 100% awkward. Also, my costume was a hit. I met a girl dressed as Amy Burley, but she bought her outfit from the HBO store and I made mine so I win.

I ended up making out with a douchebag who made me feel like shit and who got black spray paint all over my shirt AND gave me fucking hickey. Who gives hickeys? Asshole. I would have rather kissed any other of the randoms I had spoke with during the party. One was even dressed as Eric Northman. Whatevs.

I left the party totally pissed off (on account of Mr. Douchebag Extraordinaire), got slightly lost (in the ghetto...of course), and rode the train home with some really loud youngsters. Normally I don't really mind drunk and/or loud people on the train (usually because I am a bit sauced myself so I find them to be entertaining) but I was not drunk and I was irritated already, so I moved into the next car. This turned out to be a good move on my part, as I met a nice boy who lives close by and I have already have a date set up! Ha!

How do I keep meeting people on the train? NOBODY meets people on the train. This is the third guy this year. So bizarre...

Oh also, he lives and grew up in the same neighborhood as a guy I dated in January and has the same name as The Ex-Boyfriend. Good signs or bad signs? Both of those relationships ended because of things that definitely could have been fixed if there had been more communication and less craziness (the latter definitely on my part).

I just noticed as I was selecting labels for this post that neither "zombies," "vampires," "fears," nor ""awesome half and half creatures" applied. This is my halloween post. I guess "crazytown" is more applicable then I realized.

National Sandwich Day

Here is a funny email exchange between me and my dad about our plans for this grand holiday:

Me: Tomorrow is National Sandwich day. Start thinking of what kind of sandwich you should get TODAY. Don't let this very important holiday go to waste.

Pops: I'm going to have a Yankee pot roast sandwich on a New York bagel with Yankee bean soup on the side.

Me: To celebrate the Yankee victory? I might have a philly cheesesteak so I can say "MUAH HAHA, NEW YORK DEVOURS PHILLY!!! CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!!!"

Yeah, we are kind of ridiculous in my family.

Look at the Hollywood on that Guy

I love when Halloween turns into a festival. One year (probably more then once come to think of it) Halloween was on a Monday, and I was in college at the time, so we started partying on Thursday and continued to Monday. I think we all developed scurvy, anemia, and respiratory infections in the days that followed.

So I've got a party tomorrow and then Saturday is real Halloween. In order to convince one melancholy friend to come to tomorrow's party I had to promise to get all rockabilly fabulous with her. Sooo not a problem. Rockabilly has got to be my favorite genre look, followed by a tie between 1940s glam and 1980s hip-hop. Rockabilly is pretty easy to pull off though once you've got the shoes and a push up bra. The hair can be tricky, but when all else fails a ponytail is a-ok.

My problem now is that I actually have too many outfits to choose from. I think I am going to try for a Traci Lords in Cry-Baby look, but I really want to wear this adorable sailor dress that finally fits me again since I bought it four years ago (I don't even think it fit me then, it was one of those "this is so cute and I should have lost the weight by spring anyway" buys). Then there's the whole polka dots or pin-up girl look as well. What a complicated life I lead...

Speaking of complications, the host of this party is The Boy (who really is no longer The Boy... I think I have the romantic attention span of Paris Hilton), and it is in the neighborhood of The Buddy and The Hot, who I've been hanging out with a lot recently so it would be kinda grimy not to invite them.

Whatever, I'm tired of boy bullshit problems. I've still got the nursing boards to pass and an apartment to finish decorating. Not to mention resume writing, gathering recommendations, practicing for interveiws, getting a suit type thing for said interviews, and maybe get in shape. No time for a junior high state of mind.

<-- Hot.

About those 5 guys

I am fully aware that this is an open blog on the web and therefore anybody and their mother (or even my own mother) can see it. That being said, I am going to continue to write about all of my shenanigans and debauchery in a cryptic way so that just in case someone I know in real life happens to stumble across this thing and realize that it is me who is writing it can't figure out exactly what I am talking about. Wow, that was a really long sentence.
So the 5 guys. For privacy's sake and for a bit of a background story's sake I will give them the following names: The Date, The Boy (mentioned in previous posts), The Buddy (short for Former Fuck Buddy, but things never got weird between us so we really are still buddies), The Hot (short for Hot Hot Hot guy who I was never really good friends with but rest of my friends were with out me realizing it, and also short for Hot Hot Hot guy who I had a class with once), and lastly, The Claudia Schiffer (this guy is really good looking and really cool (but still nerdy and a bit awkward) and has a really, really well sculpted physique. Like, seriously. I have no idea how we have so much of a sexual history. I'm pretty, but not in a conventional way, and I have a terrible body and bad teeth).


Actually, I'm tired. And I don't really feel the need to put this story on here any way. Basically, I was very overwhelmed and confused that 5 different boys who I already know (except the actual Date) would hit on me all in the same evening. I felt like a cat in heat or something. Looking at the calendar and counting backwards (sorry if this falls into the Too Much Information category) I figured out that I was probably ovulating that day, so I probably really was a cat in heat.

Once again, the mysteries of the universe and the complexities of the human psyche are all based on fucking chemicals messing with us.

Oh, and the rainbow storm trooper is just to accentuate my confusion about boys and dating.

Jew on a Man?

So here is a message exchange with an old and newly re-discovered friend of mine on facebook. Since it is composed mainly of me ranting I figured it would be appropriate here:

October 16 at 11:07pm

... I saw you mentioned something about what your name means in Hebrew - are you Jewish? I am. figured we could bond about something lol.

October 18 at 7:01am
Yes indeedee, I am Jewish. I had no idea that you were too! I kind of remember you wearing an israeli looking yarmulke in school once, but I thought that was your way of getting away with wearing hats in class. Heehee.
I like to think of myself more as culturally/ethnically Jewish rather then religiously Jewish. I definitely don't believe in any of it, and I actually feel wrong saying the prayers etc. at holidays since I don't. I'll only do it if it's rude not to (like at someone else's house or something). Now that I live in Brooklyn I am surrounded by Super Jews and actually have a whole new bunch of orthodox friends. I love questioning all of their totally over the top practices, but I think they get a kick out of how detached I am from the whole thing. Also, discussing the core philosophy of it all is always fun. My dad and I tend to do that a lot.
Did you have a Bar Mitzvah?

October 18 at 7:21am

hahaha super Jews, I like that :) I actually am a practising Reform Jew but I do definitely see the extreme need to question and explore the factual basis of all religious claims. I too sometimes feel a bit disingenuous for reciting prayers; really the only ritual I steadfastly adhere to are the Sabbath rituals, but mostly because it was constantly what my parents did in our home. and yes, I was Bar Mitzvah'd :) My father is an orthodox Jew and my brother is an atheist. Go figure :) You, my darling, are fascinating to talk to :)
And I'm from ... - they say the Jews run Hollywood but that's nonsense - clearly we run Brooklyn :)

October 18 at 4:44pm

... They say there are more Jews in Brooklyn then there are in Israel. Speaking of Israel, have you ever been?
Sabbath rules are the best. I mean, how can you really argue against being forced to relax and hang out with your family and eat a lot once a week? Do you do the whole no electricity and no driving thing too? I have issues with people who set timers on their lights and ovens etc to get around these rules. To me it seems like that goes against some of the point of it all. So does covering your hair when you get married but wearing a wig that is probably nicer then your real hair. Too many contradictions.
I once tried to put a name to my religious beliefs, and since I like to think of myself as an amalgam (one of my favorite words) of Jewish, Hindu, agnostic,and Humanist, the best i came up with are:
Hindjewsticist
Jewdusticist
Hindmanostish
Hujewdunotishist. <--That might be my favorite.

October 18 at 5:00pm

hahaha I love the interpolation of words, that's awesome! ... And I've never been to Israel, but I would love to go. I'm a firm believer in a Jewish state, but I do not believe in killing Palestinians to accomplish this. I believe Israel gas to begin to admit its culpability in the Mid-East crises.
No, on the Sabbath I don't observe the Rabbinic or Talmudic rules regarding no electricity. I think that if man's thinking has evolved and man is made in Gods image, its foolish to believe God hasn't evolved as well, and this realizes that such antiquated practices are impractical for modernity. I do believe in God and my Judaism, but this is 2009 and I don't think my beliefs can't be in line with the times in which I live, you know?

October 22 at 6:56am

Hm. I am quite against the idea of a Jewish state (although to be fair I don't know exactly EXACTLY what that really means). It just seems to me like the more I learn about Jewish stuff the more it seems like most of the rules and practices are there just to keep the "chosen" separate from the goys. It just all seems like some super exclusive club. Like, why am I considered to be a full on a-ok Jewess, even though I don't practice or even believe in any of the stuff; but somebody who totally 100% believes in their heart of hearts in the one god and blah blah and does all of that kosher goodness or whathaveyou, but doesn't happen to come from a Jewish family (or even just doesn't have a Jewish mom), is just another gentile? It just all reminds me of the caste system in India. Oh and that group of people in Ethiopia who were converted back in the day by some crazy rabbi and he didn't do it special enough or something so now these people who have been practicing Judaism for generations can't be refugees in Israel (or something. Obviously I don't really know a whole lot about the subject)? That is just fucked up.
I mean, if god is one, then how can anything NOT be chosen? Saying that god is one indicates that all people everywhere, hell all things everywhere, are infused and chock full of god's goodness. Therefore I think that I am no more chosen then the next guy or the next banana or the next toaster.
Mm toast. Breakfast time!

5 guys

So this post is really about how I managed to have romantic/somewhat romantic encounters with five different guys tonight, but in thinking of a title I was pleasantly reminded of Five Guys Burgers and Fries and my irritation/angst/confusion/flattery has totally been replaced with a serious burger craving. Why does it have to be so early?
Ranting about boys will have to come later. I need to sleep now.

Aw man, just look at that burger. ----->
Fucking delicious.

Hidrosis

In a previous post I had mentioned how much I hate sweating. Well, I just found out about how one can get botox injections so that you don't sweat in that area anymore! How cool is that? I wonder though, if you stop sweating in one area do you start sweating more in other areas? If not, wouldn't you over heat or something?
Well, yes.
In my opinion, if I am sort of willing to wear heeled shoes and binding undergarments to look hot, then I am totally willing to risk overheating in order to stop sweating, especially on my face.

Halloween costume ideas

Sookie Stackhouse or Zombie nurse?
Or a zombie who just happens to be a nurse/nurse who just happens to be a zombie?

This video by the way is one of the cooler things I've discovered this year. To be fair though, I have not heard the new Raekwon album yet.


My original idea was to be Nike of Samothrace, but that turned out to be more complicated then I had time for. Maybe next year.

Speaking of Sookie, those books have got to get a bit more upbeat. There is enough real life sadness, I don't need my ridiculous escape methods to be sad as well.
Speaking of escape methods, I have been decorating a lot. One thing I have been doing is puting grains and beans and nuts etc. into glass jars. They really do look nice on a shelf. Anywho, I think I have become a tad obsessed. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and bought beans solely based on what colors they were. I already buy seltzer an juice based on if it comes in a glass bottle or not (and a glass bottle with a wide mouth gets super bonus points and a triple word score). I really wish they sold glass 2 liter bottles of diet coke, there is only so much Jameson I can drink at a time. Wine bottles would suffice, but few kinds come in re-closable bottles, and corks bug me lately. I need to start eating more apple sauce. Oo, or pasta with tomato sauce. See? Now I'm altering my diet just so that I can have more glass jars. Crazy crazy crazy...like I've said before, I put the "crazy" in "crazy bitch".

Grumble.

I think I need an actual topic for this here blog. I don't think "Rantings of an Insane (also self-destructive, stressed out, and boy-crazy) Nurse/Artist" cuts it.
Actually...

And no, not because of Trueblood.

Who knew a southern drawl could be so attractive? I am slightly smitten.

Youza ho.

Haha, I just realized that every time I see or hang out with my current crush and we don't kiss I end up either making out with someone else later on that night or get hit on and phone numbers are exchanged. Ha! ...ha.

Please Explain.

Let me begin this rant with a brief explanation about me and part of my world view. I hate politics. HATE. Like woah nelly super fantastico H to the A to the T to the E hate. I don't get most of it, I can't remember any of it, and I really despise how most people sound like total assholes and take everything waay too personally when they talk about it.
That said,


Is this supposed to be an anti-Obama sentiment? Because all of those things make me like him even more.
Abortion: Sure, why not? I can list a whole mess of reasons why abortion should stay legal for the rest of eternity. A woman's body is HER temple, not yours. Besides, do you think that is an easy decision to make? It's hard enough to take the morning after pill, imagine how painful (emotionally and physically) it is to get a zygote surgically removed from your body.
Sodomy: Hey, what people do to get off is no business of mine (and also, why do you care anyway? Pervert.). Also, don't knock something 'till you've tried it (between consenting individuals with at least a spark of intelligence anyway).
Socialism: Such a good idea. Sharing is caring after all.
New World Order: Ok, I had to look this one up, but it sounds to me like it means global socialism. Again, good idea.

This guy and his sign are dumb.

Ranting and Raving on a Tuesday Night!

...on a friday. Remember before facebook, how easy it was to stop thinking about past sex partners? Stupid status updates and the whole "friend" thing. Stupid boys. Stupid roommates completely changing their personalities because they have a boyfriend now. Stupid roommates who are so obnoxiously passive aggressive they don't even realize that they are. Feminists are hypocrits, and I stand by that statement.

Often I think that some people who claim to have/are diagnosed with ADHD are really just lazy. Believe it or not, it actually takes effort to concentrate! Who knew?

It ain't ice cream.

I just figured out what "being down with the swirl" means.

"Doing back spins running man and more,
Party down with vigor and candor"
--Deltron 3030

and you care because...?

I was having a pleasant casual conversation with some friends the other day and somehow or another I end up stating how I don't like feminists. Unfortunately these friends happen to identify as feminists and are much more articulate and better debaters then I am, so this didn't go over too well. Ok, maybe making such a generalized statement like that is a bit misconceiving. What I meant was I don't like the type of feminists who say/write crap like "womyn" or "herstory" or listen to Ani Difranco (I'm sorry but she is just fucking terrible) or dissect every beer ad they see as objectifying when really it is just using sex appeal to sell their product when they flip right past a different ad that shows a guy half naked in a provocative pose. I happen to like being considered pretty or cute and therefore get cat calls and the occasional free something. I agree that there are many fucked up things that happen to women all over the world, but fucked up things happen to men too. I just can't see how making tie-dyed shirts is going to prevent date rape and I certainly can't see why they think I want to hear about their menstrual cycles or Gaia life forces or whatever. I am all for equality, but I like being the femme in a relationship and I like having other people lift the heavy stuff for me. I wish I looked good in a tux, but I really like being able to cry at anything and wear red lipstick and tight jeans instead. I like whiskey and beer, but I also like cosmos and mojitos. I play dress up all of the time but I really like to build furniture and study maps. I prefer cheeseburgers to salads, I am totally obsessed with losing weight and dressing to appeal to boys while still being considered "one of the guys", I hate generic romance, I am capable of most things but I would love to have someone else to drive me around, buy me dinner sometimes, and do my taxes. Mischa Barton, Natalie Portman, and Beyonce Knowles are fucking sexy, as are Adrian Brody, Elijah Wood, and Seth Rogan.



Great. I totally lost where I was going with this rant. Basically, why the hell does anyone care if I like feminists and feminism anyway? It's just an opinion, it isn't carved in stone or tattooed across my face, and it isn't unjust either. I have spent plenty of time surrounded by the kind of feminists I previously described and I don't like those people. If most of the feminists I knew were awesome people and were able to speak intelligently about what their ideals were then maybe I wouldn't have this opinion. Also, you can have all of the opinions you want, it's when your opinions start making you act like an asshole and a bigot that it becomes a problem. I also don't like conservative religious (any religion) republicans. Anyone gonna jump down my throat for that? No, because whitey is always up and society is always keeping women down.
Or something.

Wasting time

La la la...

I am such a fucking nerdo.

No one really likes werewolves very much huh? It seems to me like they are the side dish of supernatural nerd creatures. The whole werewolves vs. vampire idea seems cool, but not if you take away the vampires.
I like vampires, zombies, sharks, centaurs, lamassus, and unicorns.

A swing and a miss..

Remember when I made a zombie valentine's day card that had absolutely nothing romantic or sex related on it for that boy, and he wouldn't even take it because he hates valentine's day so much?


Yeah, that sucked.





I mean it wasn't some meaningless teddy bear holding a heart that I bought from Duane Reade. I made it. If I hadn't given it to him on valentine's day would he have accepted it and probably really liked it because he is a big ol' nerd too?
That was just one thing on a long list of dumb things I did to seriously fuck over that possible relationship.

Woot woot [walla walla bling blang blung]!

I am a bit hesitant, but I am still way excited.


http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-walking-dead-shambles-over-to-amc,31601/

I seem to be clueless about most things that involve me.

So... is sending a link about something you have recently expressed is of great interest to you the new mixtape?
Wishful thinking most likely.
Le sigh.

Breaking Magic Down into Atoms

So who really is in charge when it comes to the topic of inviting in a vampire?
Most (if not all) of the literature states that in order for a vampire to enter a private home they must be invited in by a resident of that home. The problem here is that real estate and living situations aren't really that simple.
My situation for example:
I reside in an apartment in a residential apartment building. I rent this apartment with a flatmate. We are both lease holders and we split the rent and utility bills evenly.
My flatmate has a boyfriend who spends most nights at our apartment. He does not officially live here, but he has a key and has spent quite a lot of time here even if my flatmate was not.
My parents have a key (as back up) and they pay my rent while I am in school.
Recently my flatmate was out of the country for a while so she sublet her room to a polite and clean boy to pay her half of the rent and bills.
The apartment building is owned by a management company rather then a single landlord. Many people have shares in the company, so many people technically own our apartment.
The only names on the mailbox are mine and my flatmates, but we always get mail for Hussain Imam (I really want to know who he is).
I still have a key, receive packages, and have personal items at my parents apartment. I have not slept there in months at least.

Can all of these people invite a vampire into my house? Can I invite one into my parent's house? I need to consult Mr. Cataliades, the half-demon lawyer for the Vampire Queen of Louisiana [in the Sookie Stackhouse world].

"ug."

I am so fucking tired. I might fail nursing school just a week shy of completing, but I am just too tired and worn down to even bother to muster up some anxiety about it.

Time for some ramblings:
I have been talking with the boy more lately. We went to a show together the other night (pretty spur of the moment, but he invited me so I'm flattered), hung out before and after, and sat together in class today passing notes about comic books and zombie movies the whole time.
Even though the active crush feelings are kinda gone (but I might just be in denial or something), I still like him a lot. He is funny as hell and really easy to talk with, despite the fact that he is kind of a genius, which of course is horribly intimidating. But maybe it's time I set my sights higher (or something?) when it comes to dating? I don't know really, I have horrible self-esteem like everyone else I know, but at the same time I often think I am better then almost everyone else around me. Whatever, to tired to dissect my own defunct personality.

Accents I have always been a fan of and kind of want myself:
serious Southern drawl
old school 5 boroughs
Russian/most of Eastern Europe
Caribbean

I hate sweating. If I could, I would make it so that I would sweat out of mainly only one 2" x 2" square on my left fore arm. That way I could cover it with cool arm bands or something. Or long gloves.
I don't know I'm not thinking to clearly, I just hate summer because I sweat so much and it's gross.

I'm thinking of investing in a real sewing machine.